Enlightenment

Over the years I have done many stupid things. Some could say that I did this in order to grow as a person, but the more that I think about things, the more I feel that they hindered my growth instead of promoting it. I came to an epiphany this weekend after partaking in an enlightenment session. At first things progressed to a level where I experienced extreme bliss and heightened sensations, but as I went further, I found that this euphoric feeling went beyond my control and I felt rather helpless to the world that was moving around me.

This experience has helped me to realize that while it is ok for people to partake in these acivities, it is simply not for me anymore. I always thought that I could handle the experiences, but I see now that I am a better person if I choose to refrain from them.

I guess, in a way, I'm growing up, but in another way I'm choosing a path that will enable me to be in control of my life and my surroundings. I think I've felt helplessness for too long, and the only way for me to truly find some semblance of happiness in my own personal spirit, I need to grasp the reins and guide myself accordingly. I never thought that I would get to this point, but I can say honestly that I am happy to be making this decision.

Kindness of Strangers

In the world that we live in, it is nice to know that there are those that will still perform an act of kindness with no thought of reward. I was in Calgary last Thursday (July 20th) for the Warped Tour, and I was in a store purchasing a few rockstars, or whatever the energy drink was. Anyways, while pulling my bank card out of my pocket, I inadvertently dropped $40 on the ground. I paid for the beverages, and left the store. While standing outside, the person who was next in line came out the door and handed me the $40 I had dropped.

I know that he didn't do much. He didn't save a life or do something courageous, but he did add to the hope that I have, that people are for the most part good, and actually care about not just themselves, but the communities around them. Thanks brotha, I appreciate it.

Femme Fights With Fists of Fury

Last Friday nyte, Ernie and his good friend Rikki headed down to the Central Station Pub for a fun nyte of Rock Trivia, suds, and friends.

***Before Ernie gets into writing this story, he would like to point out that he really enjoys writing about himself in the third person.***

The nyte was quite enjoyable with a number of beverages being shared among buddies. Also a nice young girl named Karin, that Ernie hung out with (never more than that) came over and decided that Ernie and his friends were much cooler than the people she came there with. Soon Colorado and Jimmy were there, and then Chrissy (Rikki's girlfriend) showed up after she got off work.

As the nyte carried on and the beer began to flow like water, the dominating rock trivia troupe was holding strong, vying for the weekly Rock Trivia title against the ringers of the Central...Kyle's team. Many a Friday nyte has seen the intense rivalry between these two Rock Trivia Juggernauts, but that nyte, something was different. There was an electricity in the air fueled by an conflict between the two captains of the perspective teams.

You see as luck would have it, Kyle's hatred for Ernie had been growing for over a year. You see, Kyle was smitten with a sweet young girl from Calgary, that didn't reciprocate his advances. Unfortunately for Kyle, this young prarie girl did enjoy keeping company with Ernie. Oh yes the plot is indeed thickening...One nyte, during a particularily drunken affair, Kyle expressed his love for the grain goddess, and Ernie shattered his dreams by rubbing it in his face. Not a high point for any of the parties involved.

But wait...There's more...

More recently Ernie met a nice young girl one night while out on the town. As luck would have it, Kyle was again smitten with this young girl, unbeknownst to our hero. Unfortunately things were shared that nyte, that the next morning the nice young girl did not remember. This sparked an uncomfortable feeling within the girl that she had been unfairly been taken advantage of. Anyways, this feeling was conveyed to Kyle and his lingering fumes of rage were ignited. The fumes unfortunately negatively affected his ability to make rational thoughts and began making up stories about Ernie being a psychotherapist (sans the).

Now that most of the history has been taken care of, back to our story...

Ernie's team fought valiantly, but in the end they were unable to claim victory from the clutches of the evil Kyle and his merry band of hooligans. The team was magnanious in defeat however and embraced there second place winnings. As the night carried on Kyle decided that it was confrontation time. He entered the smoking room and raised his arm in order to lift his shaking finger at Ernie and said, "One day, when the parents aren't around, we'll talk."

"Okay," was Ernie's only reply before Kyle stormed from the smoking room, proud that he had the balls to confront the man who caused him so much internal trauma. However, his departure probably left him even angrier since Ernie's team found the confrontation to be quite humorous.

So the nice young girl (remember, the one that joined Ernie's team) left before the Central Station Pub closed, but asked Ernie to come to Cactus Jacks after we finished up at the Central. So the time came to leave and Ernie took his attached friend Rikki to be his wingman. The rest of the group went to go hang out with another friend at a different locale.

So the night went fine, Ernie and his female friend shared a dance, some laughter and then the infamous lights came on and everyone funneled outside. Ernie noticed Kyle and walked away from him, not seeking to push his buttons as Ernie did not wish to fight. However on this night Ernie would either sit and be berated, or he would fight to defend his honour.

Kyle approached Ernie and began stating disparaging comments about his character. Ernie reacted how anyone who had been drinkin would, he shoved Kyle and said, "FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCK!!!!" Yes he actually used four exclamation points. And the fight was on.

Ernie and Kyle went to ground and Ernie was just beginning to get the upper hand when he was pulled off by his friend Rikki.

"What the Fuck are you doing?"

"Oh sorry dude, I thought you were Kyle."

Then something unexpected happened. Kyle's estranged bitch of a sister, who for the purpose of this story we will call Crazy Bitch, came and began to berate Ernie. Well Ernie had just about had enough and summoned from his throat, mucas and other pleasantries in order to shoot a wet projectile into Crazy Bitch's face. He decided against it, but it was seen that Ernie would have done it and Crazy Bitch decided to grab Ernie by the hair and tried to drag him back to her cave (where ugly crazy bitches are forced to live).

Ernie escaped her evil clutches and found himself face to face with Kyle. Punches were thrown, Kyle's nose was broken, and the two again went to ground. Ernie again fough o the upper hand and was in a position to pummel Kyle when a large hand was placed around the back of Ernie's neck. Ernie realised that this hand was from one of the bouncers at the bar, and decided to take the offer of being able to walk away.

Ernie went across the street where he met up with his friends from earlier. They were surprised to see that the proverbial shit had hit the fan and splatter marks were evident on the furniture. Then Crazy Bitch decided that she had not yet finished her verbal, and/or physical assault of Ernie and again came and started yelling in his face. He handled it well, but then Crazy Bitch did something really stupid. She called Ernie ugly.

Ernie did not take that very well and kinda went off about how Crazy Bitch was really the ugly person and that she would always be ugly. Well Crazy Bitch didn't appreciate that very much and decided that Ernie needed to be taught a lesson that her brother couldn't teach. She came at Ernie and began to punch him. Ernie, being somewhat honorable, put his hands up to protect his face and took all that Crazy Bitch could throw at him.

Rikki and Colorado were there to save the day and Rikki pulled her off and put her in a full nelson, yeah it was funny, it's ok to laugh. Colorado said, "No Crazy Bitch! No!" After that there was nothing left to do but pick up the pieces of Ernie's pride and go home.

For a long time I have questioned humanity's natural state and whether we are born with good and bad qualities, or whether our experiences shape the way we act, and the way we develop into human beings or monsters. I have heard many conversations about the subject and a number of people believe the following to be a universal truth: Human Beings have an innate ability to distinguish between right and wrong. Even the dictionary lists it in an example. I wholly disagree with this statement.

As soon as we are born we begin our evolution to becoming a human. When we are children we possess a lack of strength and an abundance of ignorance which leads us to be constantly supervised so we do not harm ourselves. When we grow older do we not develop a sense of right and wrong through our supervisors. When we act in such a way that our supervisors feel the need to discipline us did we simply affirm that our action was wrong, or did we learn an act to be wrong because of the reaction of others.

This begs an important question, if we are not born with any innate qualities and simply learn right and wrong by observing the reactions to our actions, is there a gauge that can measure right and wrong, or is it simply relative. If someone commits an act because it provides them with a sense of altruism are they right in commiting that act, and who can judge without providing their own perspective on the spectrum of right and wrong.

We forget that we are not born with morals and that they are developed throughout your lifetime. We forget that we are shaped so very much by the environment in which we are surrounded by everyday. We think that we are innately good, but if that is true then why do children hurt others, why do they kill animals. If we are born with an ability to decipher between good and evil then why do we choose evil, why do people choose to hurt, rape, injure, or kill.

I like to believe in the goodness of humanity, but I question its existence in a species that is born with the ability to commit such great evils. The only thing we are innately born with is the ability to choose, the ability to think, to question, or to not choose anything at all.

Knowledge???

The more I learn about this crazy world that we live in, the more it frightens me. It is true that ignorance is bliss, and there is no short supply of people living in bliss...and there never will be. Some choose ignorance like they choose a flavour of ice cream, deciding what truth they are in the mood for that day. Others do not choose ignorance at all, but are simply blind to the way the world truly is. Blind because they themselves are good and trusting people and they have a hard time believing the dark traits of human nature.

As we grow older and wiser, we begin to kick down the protective walls that shielded our eyes from the truth, but still there are remnants that remain. We do not see things for what they are, because the lenses that we peer through are still dirty from our perspective. Unfortunately, perspective is an evil buildup of mildew and mold that takes more than just glass cleaner to penetrate.

When you can peer on something wihout perspective, it is only then that you can say that you are knowledgable of the subject. That being said, perspective is not something we should attempt to rid ourselves of, but rather it is something we should be collecting: like bottlecaps and stamps. My own personal collection is merely a trifle of the vast collection that exists, but hey...you have to start somewhere.